Tuesday 25 June 2019

How I became extrovert from introvert in the last two decades


An introvert is generally considered of as a quiet, reserved, and thoughtful human being.

People who are introverted tend to be inward direction, or focused more on internal thoughts, feelings and moods rather than seeking out external stimulation.


According to Eysenck’s theory, introverts are those that have naturally high levels of arousal. Because introverts tend to experience chronically high arousal levels, they tend to seek activities and environments where they can escape from over-stimulation. Because of their naturally high arousal levels, they are more alert and take in more information from the environment. Escaping somewhere to have time alone to recharge gives them the opportunity to process and reflect on what they have learned.



Psychologist Carl Jung was the first person to describe these two personality extremes back in the 1960s.



He wrote that introverts and extroverts could be separated based on how they regain energy. (The term “extrovert” is now used more commonly than “extrovert.”) Introverts, his basic definition said, prefer minimally stimulating environments, and they need time alone to recharge. Extroverts refuel by being with others.



“Quiet people have the loudest minds.” Stephen Hawking
Till at the end of college, I was an Introvert person. I always avoid social congregation, I choose to work alone. I had a very few friends.but all my friends are my very deep friendship with me.



Once I get the job and gradually advancing in the corporate world, I started realizing the benefits of Introvert and also getting into the extrovert world. Initial of the career when I was in transition period Introvert personally did help me in my professional career.



Now after at the 20 years of corporate career when I look back, I have changed a lot in my nature. I do like all this stuff which I used to avoid



Some of the general characteristics associated with extroversion include:



  • Various, deep interests
  • Likes to communicate by talking
  • Enjoys being at the focus of attention
  • Tends to act first before thinking
  • Enjoys group work
  • Feels isolated by too much time spent alone
  • Looks to others and outside sources for ideas and inspiration
  • Likes to talk about thoughts and feelings.
In western society, extroversion is celebrated. The outgoing and enthusiastic nature of a person who gets things done and is a great communicator is considered an asset.



Researchers at the University of Chicago, and Harvard and Stanford Universities found that introverted chief executives make better leaders.



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"I restore myself when I am alone" - Marilyn Monroe
Both of the styles are positive and negative based on the context.



Extroversion is more common than introversion. If we understand and develop both in balance will be beneficial we can channelize ourselves based on the need.


At least I can switch on and off based on the demand.


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It takes polish Introvert personality to compose a book! and takes polish extrovert personality to promote the book!


"Hardly anybody ever writes anything nice about introverts. Extroverts rule. This is rather odd when you realize that about nineteen writers out of twenty are introverts. We are been taught to be ashamed of not being 'outgoing'. But a writer's job is ingoing." - Ursula K. Le Guin

Junk food for Motivation, Please identify and avoid



People are the primary and the most significant support of each company. For achieving remarkable results each leader needs to have a motivation approach to establish and sustain the spirit of enthusiasm among employees.


Please avoid this list of mental foods

  • Extremely poor compensation, number one junk food for motivation, if you have this, It will demotivate immediately
  • Poor ambient workplace, Individuals will not able to concentrate and perform better work in substandard working condition
  • Work which is monotonous and does not challenge the intellectual level of the employees
  • Cowboy team members or outstanding individual contributor who does not support team members, when we have many such team representatives, it will demotivate others.
  • There are no vision or road map for the team members, one of the worst junk food for the motivation
  • Leaders are not communicating with the team members, Team members are perplexed, excellent junk food for the motivation
  • No appreciation for the valuable work done, or no recognition for a long time
  • Team members are not able to discover any career growth plan
  • Team members are receiving instruction from top to execute each and every step, less autonomy to work out anything fresh and new
  • No support available for any challenging work
  • Getting criticism every now and then, leaders are rebuke in front of others most of the time
  • Each team members are fighting with each other to meet their target goal, there is a race in the team
  • A minor small mistake will create an huge issue on the job floor, individuals are scared
  • Boss is asking report of work progress in every hour
  • Hardly team members recognize each other as everybody is in the competition, no moment to spare
  • All the critical decisions are happening at the close door, inviting a few key team members
  • People are getting treated like a machine, they are tagged as a billing resource with a number
  • The yearly appraisal system is broken, the particular case-by-case performance instances has been picked to evaluate team members
  • Every team members are complaining all the time, negativism is in the air, backbiting, and criticism is visible
  • People are not getting leave for more than 3 days until an emergency, there is always work, people are always busy.
  • Attrition and layoff are extremely high, people have asked to leave without prior notice, nobody knows why
  • Few powerful people are running the show, it is not merit but positional power which is driving the organization. Leaders are acting like tough parents
  • Team members are stressed and getting into health issues
If you find these into the menu items, please do not entertain these foods, avoid or do something

Win-Win negotiation what has worked with me



“The Law of Win/Win says, ”Let’s not do it your way or my way; let’s do it the best way”
-- Greg Anderson


When I work out below, I could discover a road to a win-win arrangement.


  • I do my homework before the conversation
  • I try to identify a way through which both of us will get benefit for long term
  • I look at the process not at the person. Ignore all the particular emotional baggage
  • I find what if alternative avenues, 
  • I try to exercise as creative as possible to uncover an alternative value proposition
  • I applied all optimistic attitude ( Glass half filled) 
  • I ask many questions to understand, discover and listen 
  • I am honest, transparent and authentic in my agreement
  • I show due respect to the opponent and his/her present condition etc
  • We discuss consequence upfront and who will pay what 
  • Once we finalize , let us document the same and sign


If you start a conversation with the assumption that you are right or that you must win, obviously it is difficult to talk.
~ Wendell Berry

Fostering Positive Relationship at work



What I have observed as a Scrum Master, we have taken this topic as one of the important items to practice.


Though it is for all, in coaching we give importance to the relationship as a key enabler in collaboration


In Agile transformation when collaboration is key, especially when we are going for large scale transformation.



My own feeling is we need more compassion, we need more empathy, we need more togetherness, in terms of working together. Cindy McCain
How scrum master resolves some of the conflicting priorities without having a better working relationship with many scrum teams? We need to learn this skill.


Let us look into the below practice and rehearse for sometime

  • It takes time to establish a stable relationship. Have patience and continue to have a trusting relationship.
  • Establish trust, give utmost attention to strengthen trust. It is one of the essential for a long lasting relationship
  • Take care of your emotion when dealing with others. Calm down when you are with others.
  • Identify a common ground for a win-win solution
  • Express yourself and share what is significant. The more you share another person will also share more. It creates binding.
  • Be positive and optimistic with others
  • Support your team members, people like when someone cares about them
  • Appreciate when you find something remarkable has been accomplished by your colleagues
  • Show curiosity to discover more, it will encourage you to understand other better
  • Discuss something else other than work and pick up the common interest
  • Do not try to educate others without their concern, including free advice
  • Let us not interrupt, let others finish
  • Always highlight the benefit when someone is working with you
  • Explain what motivates your in the work, highlight the positive aspects of the work, it inspires others also
  • Walk the talk in the change initiative
  • Look for an opportunity to the social gathering
  • Build knowledge power and earn respect for it
  • Listen, listen and demonstrate care.We have 2 ears and 1 mouth
  • Respect others view and encourage others to express more
  • Always keep your promise and commitment
  • Nasty gossip at work is poisonous
  • The blame game does not work, it creates more side effect, try to understand the big picture
  • Strengthen your likability factors, raise all those factors
Sincerely practice these for sometime, I do see that these behaviors when I meet with few great scrum masters.

We need to make sure we're all working together to change mindsets, to change attitudes, and to fight against the bad habits that we have as a society. Justin Trudeau

Why Guidebooks?