Thursday, 9 January 2020

How These Guidebooks can make you stronger?


The Agilist's Guidebook - A reference for Organizational Agile Transformation

and
The Scrum Master Guidebook - A reference for obtaining Mastery

Both these guidebooks are for Agilists who wants to learn from the mistake and experiment of others.

The Agilist's Guidebook - Based on the Pancha Bhoota Model, where 5 main forces have to be strengthened to build a robust organization.

The Scrum Master Guidebook - Based on Seven chakra model, where all the 7 chakras need to strengthen.

These books talk like a guidebook, which can be referred to along with other books, these books are not substituted of other agile books, these books are the supplement of other books.

Pancha Bhoota Model is all about helping Organizational Agility wherever you are working in.

What can we try to develop Coaching force? We are all coaches from whatever role we are playing.

What can we try to develop Leadership force? we are all leaders from whatever role we are playing.

What can we try to develop High-Performance team ? we are all team players from whatever role we are playing.

What can we try to develop growth Mindset? We all have to change our mindset from whatever role we are playing.

What can we try to develop Organizational Transformation? We all have to enable Organizational Agility from whatever role we are playing.




In the last chapter, Chapter 6 talks about several case studies.

Organizations will be able to handle external changes/forces when these 5 forces(Pancha Bhootas) are robust and supporting each other.

Please have a look for more


***********************************************************************

The 7C chakra Model, this is to achieve Individual Agility.

The Scrum Master Guidebook, is based on the 7C chakra model, how can Individual Strengthen these Chakras.

Everything is context-specific,

First Chakra focus on Communication, Connecting with all, How can we strengthen this Chakra?

The Second Chakra focus on Creativity and Innovation, Bring something new, How can we strengthen this Chakra?

Third Chakra focus on Companion-ability, get along with all, How can we strengthen this Chakra?

The Fourth Chakra focuses on building a competent team, How can we strengthen this Chakra?

The Fifth Chakra focuses on a drive for Change, How can we strengthen this Chakra?

Sixth Chakra focuses on the drive for Leadership development , How can we strengthen this Chakra?

the Seventh Chakra focuses on to be the Catalyst, How can we strengthen this Chakra?

All these are essential skills to develop for 2020.

Please look for more


The Agilist's Guidebook cost 100 INR and The Scrum Master Guidebook cost, 180 INR, it takes 3-4 months to complete these books and start experiment with the context.

It took 5 years to create these books. The Agilist's Guidebook has 800 copies in the market and The Scrum Master Guidebook has 50 copies, since introduction into the world.

Let us help each other and learn from each other.





Saturday, 14 December 2019

Pancha Bhoota Model for Achieving Organizational Agility


Look at these companies, how they have maintained their success?
5 forces are well balanced in the organizations who are still surviving.

Wednesday, 4 December 2019

The Agilist's Guidebook 60th Comment......

I have received 60 review comments from my numerous book readers for my The Agilist’s Guidebook; It supports me to reach as many readers as feasible. Because of this remarks, Amazon automatically removed delivery charged + add into Prime membership + 10% discount on the book price. Neither myself nor my publisher has done this offering. Gratitudes to all the readers and taking time out to distribute their book review comments, it supports my reader to procure this book at the lessened cost.

Saturday, 30 November 2019

How keeping coaching Journal/log/notebook aided me to compose 2 books?



According to psychologist Barbara Markway, ‘there’s simply no better way to learn about your thought processes than to write them down.’

One of my mentors once recommended a couple of years back to keep a journal for all the teams I am coaching as a coach.

That was a golden word for me for my growth personally and professionally, which I cherish till today! when I look back, I am thankful to her.

I have started maintaining a word document and journal to arrest my observation.

Now a days, I observe more minute details and share with the team members weekly, what is my observation, and what is my recommendation.

After several months of coaching , some time, those word documents mature into a 500-page document!!


After coaching discussion, it is legitimate that we won’t remember everything we see, hear, and think about our members’ growth, so record it down in a devoted place.

Journal writing is the blueprint to success in coaching; that is what I personally work out.

It is the responsibility of coaches to ensure that they follow a methodical and comprehensive approach of record keeping. We can not recall everything afterward and we engaged in numerous teams coaching at the same moment.

Consistent journaling stimulates improvement, progress, and development during a coaching process. This is for both the coach and coachee.

To facilitate assessment, planning, and evaluation of progress journal/log/notebook serves to precisely recall and reflect.

The purpose of journaling is not the result but the process.

Thoughts, conclusion, and key observations of the last coaching session should be part of the journal/log/notebook.

Compose about the situations you have experienced in the coaching context promptly after the session.

Document milestones and occasions of achievement are also a better subject to capture.

Observations, ideas, aha-moments, queries for myself, what not, everything should be part of the journal.

Journaling gives room for ideas and explanations. Most of the ideas appear to me when I studied back the noted journal for a team. I pick up better and further thoughts for the experiment when I talk against previous observation.

The journal could be generated during the session to capture key messages, words, language, and themes, empowering the coach to remind themselves and draw the notes back into the conversation.

Keeping a journal during the process of coaching allows coaches to chronicle the team member’s way of growth, development, and achievement.

Sometimes coaches will maintain a formal written contract, which will be utilized and confirmed by the learner and coach, both will retain a copy.

Journaling helps coach and coachee to analyze everyone’s thoughts and feelings. Both can maintain the journal, but as a coach for me, it is a must.

The coaching log has to be visible and present for you to literally use it.

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” Anne Frank

In some cases, I may aspire to record each coaching session in exceptional detail, and in some cases, I may choose to create only sketchy observations. 

Sometimes I also record specific observation experiments that add lessons learned captured. In some cases, the coach may provide the team members with a standardized training evaluation sheet to seize the improvement items for all.

After each coaching discussion or session, I as a coach ask
  1. What can I serve to aid this team member’s development between now and our next coaching session?
  2. What did I understand from this session that I didn’t notice going in?
  3. What did the individual I’m coaching learn? What key messages were reinforced in the session?

It’s an impressive open secret for all the members who are occupied in coaching. If we practice this accurately, it will transform all of us. Predominantly in the constructive manner.

Friday, 29 November 2019

Transformation Guidebooks....Manual for all Agilists



Self Development to------>>> Team Development, An adventure that will continue for every agilist’s career.

I have been traversing this expedition and still continuing …..

The 2 guidebooks which I have composed, The Scrum Master Guidebook and The Agilist’s Guidebook has, a distinct purpose. They focus on unique demands. But every agilist’s can gain benefit from these 2 books.

The Scrum Master Guidebook starts with self-development.

This book concentrate on the most important role every delivery organization requires to strengthen with utmost seriousness. Because this role carries tremendous impact in the Delivery and execution process. The Pillar of any agile organization is this Scrum Master role. Accept it or not, look at the current Pillar maturity model and success rate of the delivery.

This book propose for all the Scrum Master to pass through 7C chakra Model.



7C chakra model talks about how I can as a scrum master strengthen all these 7C areas so that I can perform better.

The challenges scrum masters faces can be addressed when we strengthen with this 7C Chakra model.

There is definitely no ambiguity when all these 7C s are strengthened by you as a scrum master, you will be able to deal with the situation better.

This workbook will highlight the below chapters or 7C chakras —
  1. Chapter I How to develop awesome Communication skill?
  2. Chapter II How to develop Creativity?
  3. Chapter III How to develop Companionable skill?
  4. Chapter IV How to develop a Competent team?
  5. Chapter V How to develop Change Management skill?
  6. Chapter VI How to develop Charismatic leadership skill?
  7. Chapter VII How to develop Catalyst skill?

On the other way, The Agilist’s Guidebook is all about Organizational Agile Transformation.

The challenges agilists will experience to transform the organization has been explained

The Panch Bhoota, 5 forces that dominate us, has to be taken care.



We treat organizational as a Living Being, no more machine, every living being is governed by these 5 forces.

Five elements in the Pancha Bhoota Model are the enabler which will benefit the organization to gain agility.

The Agilist's Guidebook will highlight the below chapters ( 5 Forces- Pancha Bhoota Model)
  1. Chapter I, How to develop ourselves as a better Coach by focusing on a few of the essential areas.
  2. Chapter II, Coaching on Leadership development
  3. Chapter III, Coaching focus on the High-performance team, how a coach can help?
  4. Chapter IV, Coaching focuses on the right mindset and how to change this?
  5. Chapter V, Coaching focus on Organizational Transformation

When we have both these books and we take actions around these 2 models ( 7C for self-development, 5 forces for Organization development) an individual will be better armed with the transformation journey.

We are gearing ourselves for the digital challenges thrust upon us.

We have to actively visualize and practice both these concepts to self-development and Organization development. 

We will have many challenges. These books are like, Army training manuals and it is the army personnel after the training has to exercise this knowledge on the battlefield and bring various heroic stories back home!

Manual is the same but individual do many heroic exercises which no training manual can capture.

You as an individual need to set up a development plan for yourself after reading these workbooks.

I am positive, we will have many stories from the ground when we started applying all these concepts.
“Companies that change may survive, but companies that transform thrive. Change brings incremental or small-scale adaptations, while transformation brings great improvements that ripple through the future of an organization.”– Nick Candito

Sunday, 17 November 2019

Maturing Social Intelligence ?


Social intelligence is the capacity to know oneself and to know others.

The original definition by Edward Thorndike in 1920 is "the ability to understand and manage men and women and boys and girls, to act wisely in human relations"

According to Daniel Goleman - Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.
Awareness is about improving social intelligence. If you can not see, hear, or feel the dynamics of a conversation, you can not manage them - John Stoker

How can we Maturing Social Intelligence ?

Let us put these traits on a scale and improve these traits as a maturity journey.

It will take a lot of time moving from scale 0 to scale 5 , which is highest, will help individuals to better in Social Intelligence.

There is something I call social intelligence. You can do a lot in life on your own and you can do all kinds of stuff, but if you're really bad with people, if you're really naive or aggressive and push people away, if you don't know the political environment you're in, it invalidates all the things you know. You're not going to get anywhere. - Robert Greene

Saturday, 16 November 2019

The Scrum Master Guidebook is coming soon....

The Scrum Master Guidebook: Arriving soon in a few days, impatiently waiting for the days when my new creation will be brought in to the world......For my companion Scrum Masters to get to know numerous scrum master stories...Please continue looking for the launch…



Wednesday, 6 November 2019

Comment from Naresh

Early in the morning, you open the laptop and read such an amazing message !!! It emboldens me to go the extra mile, compose some more and continue working .....Miles to go before I sleep...Thanks, Naresh and all the readers for your encouragement…


Friday, 1 November 2019

Tools for Coaches

All these tools I am actively applying for my coaching engagement.
The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. - Confucius
  • Spheres of Influence: 
3 part of this tool
  1. Subjects we can control
  2. Subjects we can influence
  3. Subjects we can’t influence, either right now or at all times
Helping them determine what is within their control, what is in their sphere of influence, and what cannot be controlled. 
Most of the time , I explain this tool to my scrum master to apply this and check if they can do anything about the situation?
  • Journaling:
Having a journal can be advantageous for many diverse reasons as a coaching exercise. Daily journaling facilitates observation and can stimulate useful brainstorming about how to better strive toward the objectives. Coaches can help ensure that their clients journaling is essential by maintaining some guidance.
We as a coach also maintain a journal about our observation about a team and reflect and help the team to become better.
  • The GROW model:
The GROW model is a simple method for goal setting and problem-solving in coaching. It includes for stages:
G for Goal: The goal is what the client wants to accomplish. It should be defined as clear as possible. You could combine it with the SMART method described earlier
R for Reality: That’s the status quo, where our client is right now. The client describes her current situation and how far she is away from her goal.
O for Obstacles and Options: What are the obstacles (roadblocks) that keep your client from achieving the goal? Once these obstacles are identified you can find ways to overcome them – the options.
W for Way forward: Once identified the choices need to be translated into action steps that will take your client to accomplish her goal.
  • Identifying Limiting Belief:
Compose a list of all your limiting beliefs; the beliefs that stop you from moving forward. You start questioning your limiting beliefs you will start to create doubt which will lead to you changing your beliefs questions that you can ask yourself to challenge this belief.
It helps team members to come out with many assumptions which were bothering them.
  • Wheel of life and how to balance it is :
All these are the below pillars of the Wheel of life
  1. Health
  2. Wealth
  3. Happiness
  4. Spiritual
  5. Mental 
How balanced they are ?
As a result of this exercise, your client will have a visual map – which will look almost like a spider web. This visual map will give your client a general idea of their desired state of being in relation to their current state.
  • SMART goals: 
SMART goals bring structure and accountability into goals.SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Therefore, a SMART goal incorporates all of these criteria to help focus your efforts and increase the chances of achieving that goal.
  • Powerful question:
Why, What, How, When and more open-ended questions.
Powerful questions are a reflection of engaged listening and finding out the other person’s viewpoint that is established through paraphrasing. This offers a progression from listening, paraphrasing for learning, and then asking powerful questions that provide clarity or mediation of thinking.
  • Personal SWOT Tool.
Help clients analyze their Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. A Personal SWOT helps clients think about careers in terms of their strengths—and identify potentially “transferable” strengths.
  • Working Agreement :
Working Agreement is a valuable tool to employ for installing a shared understanding and way of working for teams. Also called a Social Contract, this practice is an excellent foundation for building high performing teams.
In coaching engagement , it is essential we form the coaching agreement and contract with the client.
  • Value discovery and Purpose identification:
Identifying your personal core values is an anchor or turning point. When there is conflict or a boundary issue, it’s possible because someone has stepped on a personal value. Once we are connected with Value and bigger purpose , we become self driven and unstoppable.
I share this tool with the scrum masters to use this tool with their team members.
  • Socratic Questions:
The Socratic Questioning technique is an effective way to examine ideas in depth. It can be used at all levels and is a helpful tool for all teachers. Question related to Conceptual clarification questions, Probing assumptions, probing rationale, reasons and evidence, Questioning viewpoints and perspectives, Probe implications and consequences, Questions about the question.
  • Eat the Frog :
As Mark Twain once said “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” Eating the frog means to just do it, otherwise the frog will eat you meaning that you’ll end up procrastinating it the whole day. Take the most important item first.
A good tool improves the way you work. A great tool improves the way you think. Jeff Duntemann
  • Collaborate or not?
Because no two individuals have exactly the same expectations and desires, conflict is a natural part of our interactions with others.
The Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument is designed to measure a person’s behavior in conflict situations. “Conflict situations” are those in which the concerns of two people appear to be incompatible. In such situations, we can describe an individual’s behavior along two dimensions: (1) assertiveness, the extent to which the person attempts to satisfy his own concerns, and (2) cooperativeness, the extent to which the person attempts to satisfy the other person’s concerns.These two basic dimensions of behavior define five different modes for responding to conflict situations:Competing ,Accommodating ,Avoiding ,Collaborating and Compromising 
  • Force Field analysis:
Force Field Analysis was created by Kurt Lewin in the 1940s.The idea behind Force Field Analysis is that situations are maintained by an equilibrium between forces that drive change and others that resist change.For change to happen, the driving forces must be strengthened or the resisting forces weakened.The tool is useful for making decisions by analyzing the forces for and against a change, and for communicating the reasoning behind your decision.
I am sure , you are already using these tools or more. Please do share if anything more , we can use.
It is essential to have good tools, but it is also essential that the tools should be used in the right way.
Wallace D. Wattles

Are we cocooning? Why Should we?Not?



True transformation occurs only when we can look at ourselves squarely and face our attachments and inner demons, free from the buzz of commercial distraction and false social realities. We have to retreat into our own cocoons and come face-to-face with who we are. We have to turn toward our own inner darkness. For only by abandoning its attachments and facing the darkness does the caterpillar's body begin to spread out and it's light, beautiful wings begin to form.Julia Hill

Cocooning is the operation of isolating or hiding oneself from the natural social environment, which may be observed as disturbing, unfriendly, dangerous, or otherwise objectionable, at least for the present.

The caterpillar is an immature butterfly or moth, also known as the larval. A caterpillar transforms into a butterfly or moth after hibernating in a cocoon.

The term was popularized in the 1990s by marketing consultant Faith Popcorn in her book The Popcorn Report: The Future of Your Company, Your World, Your Life.

Popcorn suggested that cocooning could be broken down into three different types:
  • the socialized cocoon, in which one retreats to the privacy of one's home;
  • the armored cocoon, in which one establishes a barrier to protect oneself from external threats;
  • the wandering cocoon, in which one travels with a technological barrier that serves to insulate one from the environment.

Cocooning is self-nurturing, which may consider distinctive to each individual and change often.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung



“Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself.” – Wayne Dyer



“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle



“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” – Ram Dass



“The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates

Occasionally, we require to calm down the inner parental expression or just subdue it completely.

Even if you are balanced and healthy, you choose to safeguard yourself from other people’s dramas and the stress of urban life.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again but expecting different results.” Albert Einstein

Neil Thompson, in his book People Skills, suggests that there are six steps:
  • Read - around the topics you are learning about or want to learn about and develop
  • Ask - others about the way they do things and why
  • Watch - what is going on around you
  • Feel - pay attention to your emotions, what prompts them, and how you deal with negative ones
  • Talk - share your views and experiences with others in your organization
  • Think - learn to value time spent thinking about your work

Here’s the Cocooning Process in an essence:
  • Establish a definite time for yourself
  • Establish a silent location
  • De-clutter that location
  • A meditation that works for you
  • Examine and write down
  • Listen to yourself
  • Maintain A Journal
  • Ask questions

Why Should we? Not?
  • It’s fundamental to understand self at a deeper level.
  • Self-awareness and a little soul searching are crucial to prosperity in all sections of life.
  • Obliges you to figure out and see situations from a particular point of view.
  • Promotes a deeper level of learning and knowing
  • Build up a better insight into what’s working and what’s not. 
  • Build two components to emotional intelligence: self-awareness and self-regulation. 
  • Diminished anxiety and depression, calmness and increased discernment.



A couple of my companions goes 1-month cocooning treat once in six month cycle, they are developing into better as a human being. They travel to Mountain, Jungles, Deserts, Beaches, North poles wherever they can devote moment with nature but away from urban corporate clamors!

I am trying for last several years, it is a good practice and helps a lot. Many of my friends have tried it and recommended me to do so....

Saturday, 26 October 2019

A Mystery to Heuristic: Is it Unacceptable?



What is Mystery?

Something that is complex or impractical to figure out or demonstrate.

Whenever we start working out a problem for the first time, for us it looks like Mystery.

When we seek to figure out the trouble, in a process when it is taking more time, team members started exploring various Heuristic to deal with the problem faster.

Recently I have encountered the same situation in one of our assignments. The assignment was complex and we were trying it for the first time in the context where we are working. Most of our team members applied Heuristics to deal with the issue.

I glanced into all the heuristic which we have applied to come up with the solution. 

The quick fix is no more mystery for us but there is a working solution available with many issues which we will clear up rapidly.

What is Heuristic?

A heuristic is a technique, is a approach to problem-solving, learning, or discovery that utilizes a workable way not guaranteed to be excellent or appropriate, but acceptable for the immediate objectives.

Heuristics are susceptible to bias and introducing errors.

Just because something has worked in the past does not mean that it will work further, and relying on an existing heuristic can drive it challenging to identify alternative solutions or come up with different solutions.

Examples of heuristics include using:
  • A rule of thumb
  • An educated guess
  • An intuitive judgment
  • Stereotyping
  • Profiling
  • Common sense
The most fundamental heuristic is trial and error, which can be employed in everything from matching nuts and bolts to identifying the values of variables in algebra problems. In mathematics, some common heuristics involve the adoption of visual images, additional assumptions, forward/backward reasoning, and simplification.

Here are a few commonly used heuristics from George Pólya’s 1945 book, How to Solve It:[6]
If you are having difficulty understanding a problem, try drawing a picture.

  • If you can’t find a solution, try assuming that you have a solution and seeing what you can derive from that (“working backward”).
  • If the problem is abstract, try examining a concrete example.
  • Try solving a more general problem first (the “inventor’s paradox”: the more ambitious plan may have more chances of success).

Most of these we have applied in our assignment to come out with the solution. It looks like common sense but helped us a lot to quickly come out with the solution.

Some more Heuristic which helped us

Similarity Heuristic:
The Similarity heuristic is a flexible strategy. The objective of the similarity heuristic is maximizing productivity through appropriate experience while not repeating unfavorable experiences. Decisions based on how useful or objectionable the present seems are based on how similar the past was to the present situation.

The availability Heuristic:
Involves making judgments based on how comfortable it is to create something to mind. When we are working to carry out a judgment, we might quickly recall a number of significant examples. Since these are more easily accessible in our mind, we will likely consider these results as being more familiar or frequently-existing. 

Cognitive Heuristic:
This involves searching through the possible options until an acceptability threshold is reached.Was introduced by Herbert A. Simon.
Simon used satisficing to describe the behavior of decision-makers under circumstances in which an optimal solution cannot be established. In decision making, satisficing refers to the use of aspiration levels when choosing from different paths of action. By this account, decision-makers select the first option that meets a given need or select the option that seems to address most needs rather than the “optimal” solution.

Fluency heuristic:
In psychology, a fluency heuristic is a mental heuristic in which, if one item is dealt with more fluently, faster, or more smoothly than another, the mind interprets that this item has a greater value with respect to the question being considered.In other words, the more effectively or elegantly a concept is communicated, the more likely it is to be treated seriously, whether or not it is logical.

Affect Heuristic:
The affect heuristic involves making judgments that are greatly aroused by the emotions that an individual is experiencing at that moment. 

Where finding an optimal solution is impossible or impractical, heuristic methods can be used to speed up the process of finding a satisfactory solution.

Wednesday, 23 October 2019

Rajesh's Comment



Inspiring remarks to read through and emboldens me to stretch further! thanks, Rajesh for your admirable words. The Agilist’s Guidebook’s 57th reader reviews. In 13 months, the book has reached to 600 copies. This remark encourages other readers to glance through the book and embrace if this book helps, anyway. Thanks for helping fellow readers and writers to improve I cherish this book will trigger a few thoughts to look at your world in a distinctive manner.

The Agilist Guidebook


Sunday, 20 October 2019

How User Interview technique helped me to develop my books?



Both the book, “The Agilist Guidebook”, and my forthcoming book “The Scrum Master Guidebook”, heavily influenced by design thinking technique.

Conducting an effective focused interview is a fantastic tool for this type of information gathering, and is an extremely valuable component of the design thinking process.

Interviews provide a mechanisms to thoroughly understand an issue, problem, or indeed a proposed solution. Gaining insights, or understanding anything valuable from an interview for that matter, requires great skill and a plan.

I carefully use SPICE framework 

  • Social: What do individuals require from their relationships with others?
  • Physical: What do individuals need on a personal or practical level?
  • Identity: What do individuals require to strengthen their sense of self-worth or build up their personal existence? 
  • Communication: What kinds of information do individuals require and when and where do they desire it?
  • Emotional: What do individuals need psychologically and emotionally?

The Various guideline I have employed to take the user interview efficiently to gather the expected information are

  • Proper homework: I have extensively covered the homework before the interview. Whom I am interacting with, what he/she is presently working, what is his/her position, domain, business, nationality, etc information.
  • User mapping and develop a list: I have gathered and detailed all the individuals whom I am going to take the interview. Their all the detail information I have gathered. 
  • Establish rapport: Apply the technique to establish rapport during the interview. Give the warm to seamlessly connect with the individual.
  • Listen intently and thoughtfully: Apply listening techniques, note down all that you hear and continue the conversation. Perhaps record the conversation for future reference.
  • Formulate thoughtful, penetrating questions: Be genuinely curious, and remember the goal is to keep learning even if you consider the responses to a given query may not at all clarify what you’re researching. Dig deeply after a response.
  • Observe sensitively and with focus: Be vigilant in your dialogue.
  • Maintain a sense of humor: In all my discuss this is one of my favorite motives, The individual will feel good, I will find some way to set up environment light.
  • Make yourself impartial: I do not comment or share my solution. I simply note down my observation. I am indifferent to all the conversations. 
  • Use the power of silence: I give it an appropriate thought that an individual can think during our conversation, there is no hurry to respond to all the queries. I stimulate the conversation and wait for the answer.
  • Active deep listening: I apply my big ears to find out what is not yet said! or all will be going to be answered. It encourages me to bring about my next questions. 
  • Asking Why? I ask 5 why very graciously with an abundance of curiosity by sharing some of my life stories so that discussion proceeds and the individual shares more details. Which helped me to understand the situation better.
  • Context and illustrations: Every context is unique, it is fundamental to understand the discover the context better. It is during the interview we discover the context better. 
  • Avoid leading, closed question: Leading questions are usually undesirable as they emerge in inaccurate information. I ensure no questions ask which will answer into yes/no.
  • Ask for real-life experience: I ask to record some real examples the individual has experience. That helped me a lot later to figure out the situation. 

All these good practices helped me to build many stories and insights into the other's life.

Many roles of Mother in Law



How my mother-in-law wears many hats when she is here with us?

She is an extremely talented cook, Passionate cook, chooses to cook with many experiments. She is 75 now and stayed far away from where we are living now. 

I am not a good eater, so she is annoyed most of the time but my kids like eating delicious foods.

Every time she visits, she will do something different with the new recipes.

I have noticed she has applied many hats to explaining the cooking. Which is her favorite subject, BTW she was a school teacher. Now retired.

Some time is she is a coach, sometime mentor, sometime counselor , sometime consultant, and sometime trainer!!!

How? I am sharing this same description in my training to explain these points distinctly.


  • Sometimes she would ask you questions about what end result you choose and check if you had everything you required, what other material/ ingredients you might require and check with you that it matched your preferences. She is coaching for cooking. 
  • Sometimes she would share his or her recipe with you and his or her experience of how he or she does it. She is mentoring for cooking. As mentors, she brings their range of expertise, knowledge, and experience.
  • When we have to cook for many guests, she would examine any anxieties we had about cooking the foods, she is counseling. Counseling supports individuals in working through emotional distress or anxieties that prohibit them from functioning as well as they’d like to.
  • Sometimes she would check out the situation, provide three or four recipe options and examine which was appropriate for you. She was a consultant. Consultants bring knowledge and expertise in their areas of work and pass advice on to their clients.
  • Sometimes she would demonstrate how it was done, give you the equipment and ingredients you need, and observe while you were cooking it, giving feedback when required. She has become a Trainer. Great training is about preparing individuals with new skills and knowledge to help their personal and/or professional development.

We learn maximum when we perform it ourselves.90% of learning comes when we teach others. At the end of the day my mother in laws wants us to learn fast.


According to the coaching ladder, leaders will assure we reach to self-sustaining state, in our situation, my wife is equipped enough to run the cooking for several guests at any point of time, of course, we all have passed through these phases.


I am sure you have also observed similar type of scenarios and helped your team by explaining when to coach , when to mentor and when to delegate.

Why Guidebooks?